The One that Got A Way

Long before Katy Perry's song, the one that got away was a phrase often echoed in a fisherman's story. It usually means the big fish that got away because the one that got away is always bigger than the one that got caught, right? When it comes to relationships, what does this symbolism really mean?

Its most popular meaning is rooted in regret and implies that there is someone, in hindsight, that we regret not being with because when we look back there is a feeling of loss. My sister's coincidental meeting with my ex-boyfriend from college got me thinking about the fisherman's phase from a different perspective when she told me that my ex referred to me as 'the one that got away.' He's an ex for a reason so I wasn't interested in his regrets, but I was very interested in understanding what the statement says about the person who is bold enough to be the one that got away.

Whether it's a dating, marital, work or friendship, walking away for a toxic relationship takes courage. Stability is often the reason my coaching clients give for staying on a job or in a personal relationship that is not healthy for them. I believe where there is no peace, there is no stability. Being the one that got away is an amazing label to have because the one that got away is the one that lives another day. Another day to love again, another day to dream again, and another day to achieve new goals. Here are three major traits of the one that got away:

1. She prefers Celebration over Toleration. Paul F. Davis said it best when he coined, "Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.


2. She Respects Herself. Respecting others require respecting yourself. It is impossible to give what you don't have. Too many people allow disrespect in the marketplace and in personal relationships because they haven't learned how to respect themselves. When one has self-respect, they don't allow others to disrespect them with low pay, hostile words, and unloving behavior.


3. She is Wise. Regardless of the platform - one-on-one conversations, before an audience, or in prayer - the one that got away knows when and how to express your thoughts, lean in, set personal bounties, and move forward.